ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize