i barfeds in our rink
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
