Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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