So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
