I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
