did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
