Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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