I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
