There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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