Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
