I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
