as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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