so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
