You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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