If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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