I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
