guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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