U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
