The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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