the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
