I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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