Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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