he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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