My first STD was from a foam party
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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