i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
