I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wakey wakey hands off snakey
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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