Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
