did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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