And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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