Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
