How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
