since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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