Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
