1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did I show you my penis last night?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
