you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
