drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
