i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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