..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
