i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize