My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
