Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
