I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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