Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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