I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
