So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
