my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
