Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
