you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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