You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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