Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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