You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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