So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
