I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
